Mike and I decided to try to start our family in March of 2010, after we had been married almost 5 years. We have always known we would be parents, but we wanted to enjoy married life before making a huge commitment that we knew would change our lives forever. We finally felt ready to start trying, but I think we were still a little nervous when I threw my birth control pills away!
When I look back on that time, I remember thinking I could plan everything out...man, was I wrong! I remember deciding when to try because I never wanted a "football season baby", because I wanted to have the baby around the beginning of summer so Mike could be home for my maternity leave...I know it sounds naive to think I could have planned it that much, but honestly, it seemed like it had been that way with most of my friends. I had never had any "female problems"other than pretty bad cramps, and before I got on birth control, you could set your watch to my cycle, I was that regular. Also, my mom is super fertile and she had always told me, "You better stay on that pill until you're ready to get pregnant because as soon as you get off, you'll get pregnant!" I really had no reason to think that I might have any problems, which is why Mike and I assumed we could start our family when we were ready.
I remember being surprised the first few months when the pregnancy tests were negative, but I wasn't too concerned or upset the first few times, especially since we weren't really tracking my cycle. Mike and I decided to go on our first cruise that summer in July, and I just knew for sure that I would come back pregnant. I didn't. In August we started using ovulation tests and I began tracking my cycle better, and I realized that my cycles were running closer to 40 days than the normal 28 day cycle, which I knew was not normal for me. When it still hadn't happened in September after 6 months of trying, I was starting to get concerned. I knew most doctors wouldn't start testing for problems until a couple has been trying for a year, but my yearly check-up was scheduled in November so I decided to talk to my OB then.
I have to take a minute to brag about how wonderful my OB is. I have been seeing Dr. Michael Howell since I was a teenager, and he is one of the most compassionate, caring doctors I have ever seen. He listened to my concerns about my cycle and still not being pregnant, and he said something I will never forget. He said, "Most times I have couples wait a year, but if you were my sister/daughter/wife, I would say let's start testing now to see what we can find." After being so scared that he would laugh at me for being concerned or brush me off, I felt so relieved. He scheduled me for the first step of testing, which was a sonogram.
Now let me explain what a sonogram is when it comes to fertility testing. *Note, this may be more info than you want to know, so please feel free to skip this part!* When I thought of a sonogram, I thought of the kind where they run the wand over your belly, like when you're really pregnant. With no warning, I had to endure my first vaginal sonogram...the wand goes...well, you can figure that out! Nowadays, I almost feel like I'm missing something if I DON'T have a vaginal sonogram every day, but back then, this was pretty scary! However, I survived and the sonogram showed that there were cysts in my ovaries, which is usually consistent with PCOS, or Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. Since my best friend has PCOS, I was familiar with it and was immediately worried about the diagnosis. I know it's certainly possible to get pregnant with PCOS, but it's also a lot harder. My doctor did say he thought I had a mild case of it, since the cysts were my only symptom, but he wanted to start me on some treatment for it anyway.
We decided to wait until January to start it, since they ran a bunch of blood tests as well and we were waiting to get the results back. In January of 2011, I started my first month of Clomid, which, for those of you who don't know, is a basic fertility drug used to help women ovulate correctly. (For me, that meant getting me back to a regular 28 day cycle and eliminating the cysts.) I started on the lowest dose, 50 mg, and was increased each month by 50 mg for every month that I didn't get pregnant. I also had to go in for a monthly sonogram, just to make sure I didn't have any cysts that would be stimulated by the Clomid.
After my 3rd month on Clomid, which marked a year that we had been trying, I found out I was pregnant! That in itself was a crazy story! I got up on Sunday morning to test, before Mike was up and before we would normally get up to start getting ready for church. I had a home pregnancy test from the Dollar Store, one that had the 2 lines like most normal pregnancy tests. I took the test and got what I thought was a negative test. I (of course) got really upset because I really thought I might be pregnant this month. (I had irrationally gotten upset with Mike that Friday when he told me he was thinking about coaching girls basketball the next year instead of boys...which made absolutely no sense! When he asked why I was so upset, I started crying and said I didn't like when we fought. Later that night I remember saying to him, "I better be pregnant so I have an excuse for that! I don't even know what that was about!" Luckily, I was pregnant so I had an excuse for the craziness!) I crawled back into bed, woke Mike to tell him, and cried with him and vented my frustrations. I then decided I would stay home from church that day, as the "negative test day" each month is always the hardest day on me emotionally. While Mike was at church, something just didn't feel right about that first test, so I asked Mike to stop on his way home from church to pick up a digital pregnancy test. (Much easier to read...it says "pregnant" if you're pregnant and "not pregnant" if you're not!) I know Mike thought I was crazy since I got a negative test already, but I think he also knew not to question a hormonal woman, especially after what had happened Friday! We decided I would wait until the morning to test again, if I still hadn't started my period by then. Well, I just couldn't wait, I wanted confirmation! What I didn't tell Mike that morning was that the test was really faint, most likely because the test was too diluted with excess urine, so I don't think it was an accurate reading, which is why I felt like I needed to take another test. After I took the digital test and saw "Pregnant" I was so shocked. I had always imagined coming up with a cute, creative way of telling Mike that I was pregnant, but all of those ideas went out the window at that moment! I ran into the other bathroom where he was, burst through the door and handed him the test! I think he was as shocked as I was, as he said, "Well, I guess you need to call the doctor." By Monday morning I had taken 2 more tests, all of which read "pregnant", and I called my doctor that day to schedule our first appointment.
We felt like our prayers had finally been answered, that the Lord had delivered us from this struggle after a year of trying, and we were immediately making plans and getting excited. As you can probably guess (seeing as how we still don't have a baby), the Lord had different plans in mind for us. In my next post, I will share about our first heartbreak, the loss of our first child.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Something to Blog About
Well, we all know that I am not a consistent blogger. (Obviously, since my last post was in July of last year!) I enjoy reading others' blogs, but when asked why I don't update ours, my response has always been, "Well I don't have much going on to blog about." That's not entirely true...Mike and I have had a lot going on with us the past few years, that until now I have not wanted to make public. Of course, close friends and family know about our struggles, but I have not shared details with people who don't know us as well, or posted it on Facebook. (And we all know once it's on Facebook, you're ready for everyone and their mother to know about it!)
The struggle I'm talking about is infertility.
Mike and I have been trying to start a family for the past (almost) 2 years, and it has been the hardest thing either of us has ever had to endure. Throughout this incredibly difficult journey, I have thought a million times about blogging about our struggles, but have always chickened out. I feel like God has been laying it on my heart for a long time, but I kept pushing aside the thought of it because it's such a personal and emotional subject. However, a dear friend of mine (who is also struggling with infertility) sent me the link to a woman's blog who has begun blogging about her fertility journey. I don't even know this woman, but she was able to put into words everything I have been feeling for the past 2 years. It felt cathartic and freeing to realize that other women out there are experiencing the same emotions, doubts, fears, and frustrations that I am in this journey. I also know that I have already been able to minister to several women who are dealing with this same issue, and I want to use this pain to (hopefully) encourage and normalize this experience for other women. What better platform for that than our blog?
There are several reasons that Mike and I decided I should finally share about our struggles:
1. To let other women struggling in this area know that they are not alone.
2. To bring awareness to a topic that is not openly discussed, but probably should be.
3. To provide an outlet for me to express my feelings about this struggle.
4. And most of all, to share with others how the Lord has been (and still continues to) work on mine and Mike's hearts through this difficult journey.
Over these next few (or many??) blog posts, I am going to share with you the ups and downs and ins and outs of infertility...at least how we have experienced it personally. You'll probably learn WAY more than you want to about fertility treatments and my personal experiences, but I hope that my transparency will speak to others. If just one person feels some sort of comfort after reading about our journey, if just one woman says to herself, "I am not alone in this after all!", if just one person learns anything about relying on the Lord's plans even when it's so hard, then I will have accomplished my purpose in writing this.
I pray that the Lord will use me through this blog to minister to other women out there struggling with the battle of infertility, and that He will get all the glory through this blog and through our lives.
The struggle I'm talking about is infertility.
Mike and I have been trying to start a family for the past (almost) 2 years, and it has been the hardest thing either of us has ever had to endure. Throughout this incredibly difficult journey, I have thought a million times about blogging about our struggles, but have always chickened out. I feel like God has been laying it on my heart for a long time, but I kept pushing aside the thought of it because it's such a personal and emotional subject. However, a dear friend of mine (who is also struggling with infertility) sent me the link to a woman's blog who has begun blogging about her fertility journey. I don't even know this woman, but she was able to put into words everything I have been feeling for the past 2 years. It felt cathartic and freeing to realize that other women out there are experiencing the same emotions, doubts, fears, and frustrations that I am in this journey. I also know that I have already been able to minister to several women who are dealing with this same issue, and I want to use this pain to (hopefully) encourage and normalize this experience for other women. What better platform for that than our blog?
There are several reasons that Mike and I decided I should finally share about our struggles:
1. To let other women struggling in this area know that they are not alone.
2. To bring awareness to a topic that is not openly discussed, but probably should be.
3. To provide an outlet for me to express my feelings about this struggle.
4. And most of all, to share with others how the Lord has been (and still continues to) work on mine and Mike's hearts through this difficult journey.
Over these next few (or many??) blog posts, I am going to share with you the ups and downs and ins and outs of infertility...at least how we have experienced it personally. You'll probably learn WAY more than you want to about fertility treatments and my personal experiences, but I hope that my transparency will speak to others. If just one person feels some sort of comfort after reading about our journey, if just one woman says to herself, "I am not alone in this after all!", if just one person learns anything about relying on the Lord's plans even when it's so hard, then I will have accomplished my purpose in writing this.
I pray that the Lord will use me through this blog to minister to other women out there struggling with the battle of infertility, and that He will get all the glory through this blog and through our lives.
Friday, August 5, 2011
A truly unique idea.
Limitless Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, Abbie Cornish
My grade: A+
Finally a genuinely unique film has been brought to us in a fantastically thrilling way. This movie plays to the human desire of wanting to be the best at whatever you do using the easiest way possible. It starts off with a very down-trodden writer who seems to be on his last leg. His girlfriend is breaking up with him, his apartment is a den of rats, and he's one step away from the streets because he hasn't written anything in over year. Cue the serpent who comes to Cooper offering "NZT" which would supposedly open his mind to "limitless" possibilities. This is where the beauty of the the film lies because everyone who watches the movie asks themselves, "What would I do?" We've all wondered what it would be like to be their very best at something, and if they made a pill that would allow us to do just that,would we take it?
The rest of the movie surrounds what Cooper does with this new found clarity slash genius. He flies up the rank of stock brokers where he meets De Niro. Now De Niro plays this very cunning, very perceptive tycoon of all things business. Throughout the movie you get the sense that he doesn't trust this phenom who has seemed to appear out of thin air. So as this silent battle is being waged between Cooper and De Niro, Cooper realizes that there are side effects to his newly acquired prowess. Here in lies the problem with the easy way out, and this is why I think this movie is so great. Anytime in life when we are presented with something that seems to be too good to be true, it usually is meaning that that we will always have to work for what we have in some form or another.
Cooper has exploded on the acting scene with a comfortability that is rarely seen in young actors. He has shown the ability to be both funny and serious while being the lead or supporting actor and still not lose sight of making a good film. The way you can rate an overall good movie is if the audience comes out of it talking about what they have just watched. With limitless, there is no doubt you will be talking about what you would have or would not have done.
P.S. This was written on the IPad so it doesn't have the indentions or color has the computer. Sorry guys.
Posted by Mike
My grade: A+
Finally a genuinely unique film has been brought to us in a fantastically thrilling way. This movie plays to the human desire of wanting to be the best at whatever you do using the easiest way possible. It starts off with a very down-trodden writer who seems to be on his last leg. His girlfriend is breaking up with him, his apartment is a den of rats, and he's one step away from the streets because he hasn't written anything in over year. Cue the serpent who comes to Cooper offering "NZT" which would supposedly open his mind to "limitless" possibilities. This is where the beauty of the the film lies because everyone who watches the movie asks themselves, "What would I do?" We've all wondered what it would be like to be their very best at something, and if they made a pill that would allow us to do just that,would we take it?
The rest of the movie surrounds what Cooper does with this new found clarity slash genius. He flies up the rank of stock brokers where he meets De Niro. Now De Niro plays this very cunning, very perceptive tycoon of all things business. Throughout the movie you get the sense that he doesn't trust this phenom who has seemed to appear out of thin air. So as this silent battle is being waged between Cooper and De Niro, Cooper realizes that there are side effects to his newly acquired prowess. Here in lies the problem with the easy way out, and this is why I think this movie is so great. Anytime in life when we are presented with something that seems to be too good to be true, it usually is meaning that that we will always have to work for what we have in some form or another.
Cooper has exploded on the acting scene with a comfortability that is rarely seen in young actors. He has shown the ability to be both funny and serious while being the lead or supporting actor and still not lose sight of making a good film. The way you can rate an overall good movie is if the audience comes out of it talking about what they have just watched. With limitless, there is no doubt you will be talking about what you would have or would not have done.
P.S. This was written on the IPad so it doesn't have the indentions or color has the computer. Sorry guys.
Posted by Mike
Sunday, July 31, 2011
An Action Movie for the Whole Family
Captain America Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell
My Grade: B+
This was one of the best movies for the whole family that I have seen in a while. If you like comic book movies and their story lines then this is a movie you will thoroughly enjoy. Joe Johnston pulls an interesting and highly effective tactic to make Evans look like a scrawny helpless boy. The movie opens with this pitiful looking Evans wanting badly to enlist but continuously getting rejected. Enter the sci-fi doctor, and this poor excuse for a solider turns into what we know as Captain America. I think Evans has come a long way from his days in "Not Another Teen Movie", and even though this role didn't require a lot of depth, Evans performed his part to perfection.
This movie contained everything you want in a well balanced film. First ,of course, is the action which is in great display during this movie. What I will note is the lack of cheesiness to the action that can be prevalent in most comic book films. Next is the love story in which Johnston did a good job of presenting the romance between Evans and Atwell in a secondary way that was complimentary to the overall plot but at the same time took nothing away from the comic book style of the film. And lastly, the part of the movie I think the family will love is that this is a clean (no language or sex or gruesome violence) movie in every way without losing the edge intended by most action movies. I believe the movie was made clean on purpose to stick with the Captain America essence, which is to say he is the ultimate all American boy. They also used a familiar bad guy in the man of Hugo Weaving who first became took on the villain role as Agent Smith. I think that Weaving relishes these roles because he seems to so easily fall into them.
Side note: If you stay to the end of the film you will see a pleasant upcoming movie surprise.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Twisted Love Story
Bad Teacher Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, and Justin Timberlake
My grade: C +
Where do I start with this movie? I think the best way to describe it is: Tried Too Hard! I mean they actually thought off a half way original idea (besides the slight ripoff of School of Rock), but that seemed to get lost in the attempt to be like the rest of the vulgar comedies. But let me say this first, if you are a teacher and especially if you teach middle school, this movie is a must see. Cameron Diaz plays a money seeking teacher who is always looking out for herself and for the easy way out. She demonstrates the worst teaching strategies ever put forth by any teacher, but through it all she ends up building a relationship, some what, with the students. This movie did a good job of mixing in a couple different styles of comedy. They have a little annoying comedy portrayed by everyone's favorite brown nosing teacher, Lucy Punch (Dinner for Schmucks). Then there's the sarcastic comedy that is so perfectly delivered by Jason Segel. Lastly there is the crass comedy that has so recently become popular. This is where the movie lost a little credibility for me because the sexual comedy is so grossly forced that I don't see the need. I can see the value of a crass joke when it fits into the story, but in this case director Jake Kasdan threw these scenes in the movie without any real flow to them.
I do feel that the awkwardness of the teaching staff was played to perfection form the calm and weirdly "dolphin" principal to the teacher that goes along with what everyone says. Then there's the ever improving Timberlake who plays the so called "got it all together" guy. The overall fit of the movie is really good with several well timed comedic moments. There are a handful of very funny parts where you'll catch yourself laughing out loud slightly marred by a few abrasively sexual scenes. Everyone of viewing age will enjoy this movie but I think teachers will especially catch it wittiness.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Our cruise with the Leidners!
Recently we returned from our Eastern Caribbean cruise with our best friends and we had a BLAST! I have been wanting to go back since we got home, but I had to return to real life, I guess...Anyway, here is a recap of some of the highlights! Check out Facebook to see all of our cruise pictures!
We flew to Orlando, and then took a transfer bus to Port Canaveral, where we boarded our ship on Sunday, July 3.
Our first port stop, the following day, was in Coco Cay, Bahamas. Coco Cay is a private island owned by Royal Caribbean. It was BEAUTIFUL and our favorite day of the cruise! We rode jet skis and the water was gorgeous! Then we hung out in some hammocks and relaxed, plus did some shopping. Below are some pics from the Bahamas! When we got back on the ship, we ate dinner in the dining room, our first formal night of the week.
The next day was a sea day, and we did lots of fun stuff! We played Bingo, played some 42 on the deck, and tried the Flowrider surf simulator. The guys also won a basketball tournament and even got medals! :) We ate dinner in the dining room that night as well, and the food was always amazing!
The following day we stopped in St. Thomas, which was beautiful! We did separate excursions on this day. Mike and I did underwater scooters and Christen and Ronnie did Snuba. Then we met back on the ship to eat dinner at the pizza parlor and then went to the ice skating show, which was amazing!
The following day was spent in St. Maarten, and our excursion actually got rained out. I was worried that it might ruin the day, but we ended up having a great day! We shopped, did some sight seeing, ate at the Hard Rock Cafe, and went to the beach. All in all, it was one of our favorite days!
Christen and I got opal jewelry in St. Maarten! Showing it off...
To finish off the week, we had 2 more sea days filled with fun and relaxation! Mike & I took a cooking with chocolate class, we hung out at the pool, played games and hung out! We also played miniature golf and ate lots, so they were 2 awesome days to end our week!
What a fabulous trip! We had a blast and look forward to making this a yearly event!
Posted by *Becky*
We flew to Orlando, and then took a transfer bus to Port Canaveral, where we boarded our ship on Sunday, July 3.
Our first port stop, the following day, was in Coco Cay, Bahamas. Coco Cay is a private island owned by Royal Caribbean. It was BEAUTIFUL and our favorite day of the cruise! We rode jet skis and the water was gorgeous! Then we hung out in some hammocks and relaxed, plus did some shopping. Below are some pics from the Bahamas! When we got back on the ship, we ate dinner in the dining room, our first formal night of the week.
The next day was a sea day, and we did lots of fun stuff! We played Bingo, played some 42 on the deck, and tried the Flowrider surf simulator. The guys also won a basketball tournament and even got medals! :) We ate dinner in the dining room that night as well, and the food was always amazing!
The following day we stopped in St. Thomas, which was beautiful! We did separate excursions on this day. Mike and I did underwater scooters and Christen and Ronnie did Snuba. Then we met back on the ship to eat dinner at the pizza parlor and then went to the ice skating show, which was amazing!
The following day was spent in St. Maarten, and our excursion actually got rained out. I was worried that it might ruin the day, but we ended up having a great day! We shopped, did some sight seeing, ate at the Hard Rock Cafe, and went to the beach. All in all, it was one of our favorite days!
Christen and I got opal jewelry in St. Maarten! Showing it off...
To finish off the week, we had 2 more sea days filled with fun and relaxation! Mike & I took a cooking with chocolate class, we hung out at the pool, played games and hung out! We also played miniature golf and ate lots, so they were 2 awesome days to end our week!
What a fabulous trip! We had a blast and look forward to making this a yearly event!
Posted by *Becky*
The Final Chapter
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 Daniel Radcliffe/Emma Watson/Rupert Grint My Grade: A-
Royale". They did a great job of building that fight scene up from the camera work to the music (which I think is a highly underrated part of this whole series) of the scene to the tension portrayed by the actors.
I have to give it to David Yates in that he has stayed pretty close to the books which I know some fans have aptly criticized. Now I am sure he changed a few things but that is needed when making a book into a feature film, but I do believe he captured the very nature of the book and was able to create a movie that someone who has never read the books would love. Yates did a wonderful job of celebrating the good vs evil that is rampant through out the series and really comes to a head in this movie. The way he captured that struggle and personalized it so that the audience could relate with the way Harry was feeling was his best feat. I do believe he rushed the final blow that killed Voldemort. I just think the movie felt like this perfect date and that was just a kiss on the cheek instead of the perfect end to the date, if that makes any sense. Other them that my only other criticism would be the way everyone looked "19 years later". As one movie goer was quoted in saying, "The years were not very kind to Ginny.", but if that's the only thing wrong then its a pretty good movie. Now I know what you're saying, Mike if you liked the movie so much why did you give it an A-? You see with a movie that is hyped so much it has to outdo the hype in order for it to score higher than that.
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