"Dear John"

FYI: If you haven't seen the movie, you may not want to read this, as there are spoilers!

So I just finished watching the movie "Dear John" for the first time and I am left feeling...perplexed. When I began watching the movie, I was wrapped up in the sweet love story, the mystery behind John's dad and the little boy Savannah was close to, and....well, let's be honest, looking at Channing Tatum is always enjoyable! Once he leaves for war, I was sad for them to be apart but loved how they kept each other going through letters (such a lost art these days!)

Then...I began to hate the movie.

After not writing for 3 months or so, she writes to break up with him while he's serving overseas, saying she's engaged?? I know later she explains that the guy was sick and he wanted someone to care for his son, but really??? They paint this picture of John and Savannah as being totally in love, and then she just up and marries this older guy out of the blue?

Then his dad dies, and that whole part of the movie was awful...I definitely bawled like a baby!

Okay, so then the movie starts to redeem itself because he obviously made the anonymous donation to pay for Savannah's husband to come home and say goodbye before he dies, which was really sweet. But then....the movie basically ends. I ASSUME they got back together in the end, but they didn't really explain anything....

Did she go see him where he was stationed? Where was that little coffee shop where he saw her? Was he expecting to see her? Where was the little boy she was supposed to be caring for now that her husband died? Did John and Savannah end up together??

I have not read the book, but I am wondering how close it is to the movie. I think I want to read it, but so many parts of it were so sad that I'm not sure if I really want to give it a try.

So basically, I loved/hated the movie, and am annoyed that it made me cry and now I have a headache. And, I'm home by myself with no one to discuss it with...hence, the blog post.

Soooo, fellow blog readers, what did YOU think about the movie?

Our Cruise!

This year for our 5 year anniversary, which was actually on June 18, Mike and I decided to take a Caribbean Cruise. We flew into Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and took a 7-day cruise to the Bahamas, Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel. It was by far the best vacation we have ever taken and we look forward to going on another cruise sometime in the future! Here are some picture highlights from the cruise, all of the pictures I took are on Facebook if you want to see more! Enjoy!

Top 10 list...

I love blogging and reading other people's blogs, but I can't figure out why I am such a bad blogger! I think it has something to do with lack of time...I have been so busy with work lately that when I get home I just want to hang out with Mike and watch a show or read for pure pleasure! Another reason could be that I don't have a whole lot going on that might be interesting to everyone else...but here's my attempt at being entertaining...

Here is my top 10 list of things to NEVER do/say to or about your child-

(as said/done by one of my clients at some point while I was working with them)

10. "What does she need rules for, she's a child?"

9. "I honestly think my child (5-years-old) is a future serial killer."

8. "Sometimes my kids drive me crazy because they won't let me just be a teenager." (Said by a 16-year-old mother of 2.)

7. "I pull her by her hair when she's out of control because it's effective."

6. "One of these days you're gonna wake up and I'll be gone because you will have put me in a coffin because of your bad behavior."

5. "She doesn't like to hear the word, 'No' so we don't say that around her."

4. "We don't use any form of discipline. Do you think that's why she's so out of control?"

3. Mom: "I can't understand why he thinks it's okay to hit when he's mad." Me: "How do you discipline him?" Mom: "Usually smack him across the face."

2. "I can totally understand how some mothers just snap and kill their children, and then regret it because they can't take it back."

And the number one thing to never say to/about your child:

1. "The thing you do best is make people miserable!" (said by a Mom to her 9-year-old daughter).

Oh yes, very sad but true, these exact comments have actually come out of the mouths of some of my parents in my presence...and then they want me to "fix" their children! Never a dull moment in my job!

Awkward times at the nail salon...

I have been getting my nails done every other week for several years now, but yesterday when I got my nails filled I had quite the strange experience! About 2 weeks ago, a new lady at my nail place did my nails. I'm always a little skeptical of new ladies, but they were so busy and I was in a hurry so I sat down. Almost TWO HOURS later, with bleeding fingers and crappy nails, I left. Needless to say, I was not happy.

So yesterday I went in to get another fill, worried that I might get the same lady...but luckily the owner (my favorite lady) had me sit down at her station. She picked up my hand and looked at my nails and said, "You do nails here last time?" (Yes, they were that bad.) When I told her that I had, she pointed directly at the lady who had done my nails 2 weeks before and said, "That lady do nails?" I nodded yes (thinking to myself, that's sad that she knows that without asking...) and she shook her head and starting spouting off what could only have been a string of expletives in Vietnamese. I wasn't really sure what to say...

About 10 minutes later, another lady from the back came up to talk to the lady doing my nails, and my lady began ranting in Vietnamese again about my nails, gesturing to my nails and grabbing my hand, showing this lady how bad my nails looked. I felt a little awkward because I knew the gist of what she was saying, but couldn't really jump in and respond.

Now if this wasn't already awkward enough, the lady who had done my nails 2 weeks before came over, and my nail lady basically ripped this lady a new one, again gesturing with my hand and pointing at my nails. I had nowhere to look but down while she gryped this girl out...very awkward! Finally the lady walks away (probably to go cry in the back) and my nail lady says, "I tell her, no good, she need to change". Sounded like worse than that to me...

When my nail lady started filing my nails, I told her that the other lady had hurt me when she filed my nails 2 weeks ago, to which she responded, "You should hit her, right on head!" I laughed, but I think she was serious!

When I finally got ready to leave (with MUCH nicer nails, thank goodness!) the lady who had done my nails 2 weeks ago shot daggers at me as I walked to the front...I mean, if looks could kill, I wouldn't be writing this blog post! It's a good thing my nails look so nice, because I think I might need to steer clear of the nail salon for awhile...


-- Post From Becky's iPhone

I'm on Twitter!

Well this weekend I went to Abilene for Sigma Alpha Alumni weekend, and while I was there I got talked into joining Twitter! I'm still trying to figure it out, but so far it seems pretty fun! If you're on Twitter, let me know, or follow me at BEtheLPC. And here's a few pictures from this weekend!












-- Post From Becky's iPhone

FYI...

This week I changed the link to our blog because it was so long, so it might mean that if you have my blog as a link that you need to replace it...sorry, I didn't realize that changing that would affect things so much! Now the link to our blog is www.thecoachandthecounselor.blogspot.com. So change it if you must so you can keep up with the Evans'! :)

Makes it all worth it!

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending the "counseling graduation" of one the clients I counseled during my graduate school practicum. About 2 weeks ago I received a handmade invitation inviting me to the "best graduation of all time" from a 9-year-old former practicum client of mine. I began working with this little boy over 2 years ago shortly after I began my internship at The Parenting Center. At the time, he was 7 years old and had endured some pretty tough things for such a little guy. When he started coming to see me, this little boy was struggling with the fact that his mom was sporadically involved with him and his little brother because of her drug problems, his dad (who he didn't know) was trying to come back into his life to get custody, and he was having problems making friends at school because he just didn't feel like he fit in. After I had been seeing him for about a month, his mother overdosed, and we then began some grief work to help him cope with such a huge loss. I did mostly play therapy with this little guy, and learned so much while working with him. I saw him most of the year that I was doing my practicum and he was then passed on to my site supervisor to continue working with him once I graduated.

As he began approaching termination, this little boy decided that he wanted to celebrate his progress by having a counseling graduation, and I felt so honored that he thought to invite me, even though it's been over 2 years since I worked with him! I attended his ceremony yesterday, which consisted of him, his little brother, his grandmother, his current counselor and me. I was so pleased to know that he now has many friends at school and has really come out of his shell, and is a much happier child. He also is excelling at Karate, which has given him much more self-confidence. Although he obviously still misses his mom daily, he cherishes the memories he had with her. It was such a rewarding thing to hear him talk about what counseling has meant to him and how it helped him. I have such a challenging job, and sometimes it's hard to see the fruits of the work that I do or ever feel like I am helping enact change in the clients I see. This was such an encouraging reminder that I am making a difference in the lives of my clients, even if I don't always know it!

Client Quote of the Day...

...and perhaps the whole month! A client of mine, who was extremely frustrated with the Social Study Investigator assigned to her custody case, told me, "I hope that woman goes straight to hell in a pair of gasoline soaked drawers!" Needless to say, I had to struggle not to laugh AND to continue to focus on what she said next! I just never know what I'm going to hear on any given day! My job is never dull, that's for sure...


-- Post From Becky's iPhone

She has issues...

Our beagle, Duchess, just LOVES to lay in the sun, and since it is finally shining here in Crowley, she's been out most of the day. When I looked out the window to find her after she'd been out awhile, this is what I found....






What silly dog, huh?? She keeps us laughing all the time!

I'm a bad blogger....

Well my goal was to try to be a better blogger this year, but so far, I have not improved much...I am still trying to work on that! I still read blogs, just forget to update my own! Anyway, I am going to try to make a better effort from her on out (no promises though...) ;)

Today I stayed home sick...yes, I am sick AGAIN! I went to the doctor and they said it's another sinus infection....my third in 4 months! I am getting highly annoyed to say the least, so my doctor suggested some tests and a physical to check my immune system and do some bloodwork to make sure there's not something else going on. Hopefully, we will get some answers and figure out ways to help me not get sick so much!

I do know that this past year has been a stressful one, and stress doesn't help my health. I have a stressful job for sure, and I have to remember to relax and not let the responsibilities of the job get to me. Many times I feel as though I have so much pressure on me to "help" so many families, and I'm not entitled to get sick or take a break. Even today, when I was home sick, I was crying to Mike because I was so overwhelmed about missing appointments today that I will have to reschedule, and my schedule the rest of the week is so packed! Sometimes I have to remember to tell myself to relax and that I can't do everything on my own. A hard lesson to learn for someone like me who thinks I have to do it all myself and doesn't ask for help much or tell others when I'm stressed. Mike tells me that for a counselor, I don't take my own advice on stress management very well! :) He's probably right! I am going to try to make a conscious effort to tell people when I need help or when I'm stressed, and to let others help me more. I know it will be hard, as I tend to be a "do-er" and am involved in so many things, but I am going to try to rely on the Lord, my husband, and others around me to accomplish this. I know my tendency to do it all myself has always interfered with my relationship with the Lord as well, as I have a hard time sometimes letting Him lead. I know if I can just rely on and rest in Him, everything will fall into place and work as it should. Why I always think I can do it all on my own, I will never know. Planning and doing apart from the Lord will always be in vain! I hate that sometimes it takes sickness or hurt to remind me of these things, but I am thankful that the Lord teaches me during the tough times.

So here's to antibiotics, supportive husbands and letting the Lord be my resting place! :)

2009-The good, the bad and the ugly!

Well apparently a New Year's resolution of mine for 2010 needs to be to update my blog more! I thought to end 2009 I would recap our year...it was a rough one for us, I have to say, but we can definitely still rejoice in all of the ways the Lord has blessed us this year as well! So here goes...

Let's start with the bad, so I can get it out of the way and end this post on a good note! :)

1. Obviously, first on the bad list is losing my Dad on June 7, 2009. It was so sudden and unexpected and really shook our family. Apparently, it was due to his emphysema, although he had been dealing with that for 2 years prior to his death. This is the second family member I have lost to cigarettes (my papa in middle school) so if you are reading this, beg anyone you know that smokes to stop! :) It's been rough going through all of the "firsts" this year without Dad, but I hope and pray He is with the Lord in a much better place now!

2. The next would have to be losing my Great Gran in October, 4 months after losing Dad. Great Gran was an amazing lady and such an important part of the Smith family. She died just a month and a half short of her 100th birthday, but she lived a long, wonderful life and I know she is rejoicing with her Savior, being reunited with her husband, 2 sons and 2 grandsons. All in all she had 3 sons, 9 grandchildren, 19 great grandchildren, and 4 great-great grandchildren! She was truly blessed and is truly missed!

3. My crazy sicknesses in 2009 have to make the list...I mean I always have been pretty succeptible to illness, but this year was ridiculous! It began with my awful food poisioning that turned into an abdominal infection, then later a second bout of food poisioning, bronchitis after my Dad died, 2 sinus infections and a cold! The second sinus infection I have now will hopefully be the last for awhile!

4. The shadiness at Crowley ISD...it has been getting worse and worse, but now with the principal and Mike's head football coach getting fired and the superintendent high-tailing it out of town, we think it's time to leave. We hate that Mike may have to leave behind his awesome FCA program, but we know the Lord can use him anywhere he goes!

5. The Leidners moving to Lubbock-even though it has been a great thing for Christen and Ronnie, and we know it was the Lord's plan, it has been hard to go from seeing them everyday to every couple of months! It was so awesome having them 5 minutes away, and I know it probably won't be that way ever again, so I will just cherish the 2 years they lived so close! :)


NOW...on to the good things from 2009!

1. Mike won Teacher of the Year! Although Mike tries to minimize this achievement by saying he won the award voted by the students and not the teachers, I take pride in this award because it reinforced to me even more how amazing Mike is at impacting high school kids! I know teaching and coaching is his calling for sure, and I am so proud of him!

2. We took lots of great trips this summer! Mike and I had an amazing anniversary trip to San Antonio, we took a fun road trip to Lubbock/Colorado with Christen and Ronnie, and ended the summer with an awesome trip to Boston with my parents to see Rick's daughter, son-in-law and beautiful kids! We were so blessed to have the means and the time to take these trips and had so much fun!

3. My amazing job! I celebrated one year with PCHAS this October, and I have been truly blessed by this agency and the people I work with! They supported me through the rough times personally, with at least one person from PCHAS coming to my Dad and Great Gran'a funerals. My awesome supervisor and co-workers allowed me to vent to and learn from them, and I truly feel that I have grown so much as a person and a therapist this year. I am so thankful that I can say that I LOVE my job! What a blessing!

4. My husband-Mike has always been such a blessing to me, but this year he has really come through for me during the hard times. He is such an amazing husband and seeks the Lord with all of his heart. He has been such a rock and comforter to me this year, but he also reminds me to continuously rely on the Lord and seek my ultimate strength from Him. I am so thankful for my husband and my marriage.

5. All of my friends who had beautiful babies/getting pregnant this year! I may not include them all because there are so many, but will include those dearest to my heart! Shea had little Anslee in January, Nikki had London and Holland had Kyla in April, Kendall had Hadley in June. I also got to know Kendra's little girl Kesley better even though she was born in 2008! Also, my girls from Northwood, Deborah and Joy, became pregnant and will be having a little boy and little girl (respectively) to add to our home group! Also, 2 of my co-workers are pregnant after several miscarriages, so we rejoice with them! I have also been blessed to be around Mike and Colleen's little girl Julia and see her grow and change so much! Although we are not expanding our family just yet, it has been so much fun to rejoice and play with all of my friends who have been blessed with little ones this year! :)

I think that about wraps up our 2009! It was a long post to make up for not blogging for over a month! This year had it's ups and downs, but overall we are blessed beyond measure and look forward to more great things in 2010!

With love, Mike & Becky


-- Post From Becky's iPhone

More Christmas pics

For some reason, my blog app is only letting me post a few pics at a time, so here are the rest!



Family Christmas pic at the hospital!



Crazy boys!



Mike and me



Evans family Christmas!

Christmas 2009

Although Christmas was a little different this year, with Dad being gone and my mom being in the hospital, we still had a wonderful Christmas! Mike spoiled me, as usual, and we had a great time celebrating Christmas together by going to see the Grinch ICE display at the Gaylord. Overall, this Christmas we had a wonderful time with our families! Here are some pics from the festivities!



My siblings-Nathan, Danielle & Roger



Laura and me at Smith family Christmas



Mike and me at ICE!



It was a white Christmas! Duch and me in the snow!

-- Post From Becky's iPhone